Are you always talking down or negatively to yourself?

Do you often find yourself after an argument with someone or after performing a particular task and you feel like you could have performed better, or perhaps reminiscing about something from the past that you are repeating the conversation to yourself inside your head, over and over again.

Is the conversation you have with yourself always negative, 'You should have said this or that', 'Why did you do that', 'You must stop ......', 'You wish they would not behave in that way' etc, etc.

Well you are not alone, most of the population do this at some time trying to make sense of what has happened and being full of self criticism and doubt. Thoughts just seem to appear from no where and from the minute a person wakes up in the morning to going to sleep at night the conscious mind does not stop chattering, so this can be a long exhausting day for you if you are experiencing the critical voice because of an event/argument etc

If you are experiencing lots of positive occurrences in your life then generally your self talk will be more positive and you will be having nice comfortable self talk however life has a habit of turning events around very fast and you could suddenly be experiencing a situation which is testing and stressful and you habitually find yourself having those negative soul destroying conversations with yourself again which in turn makes you then feel emotions like being flat, fed up, disappointed, stressed, angry etc and the vicious circle goes on.

What can you do about this then, to stop this negative self talk, the troubled voice?

1. Think of a time when your inner voice criticized or troubled you. Put yourself back into the old situation and focus on the inner voice. Notice where the voice is located inside your head. Notice the tone, volume, words being used. You may have to try this a few times to get accustomed to locating the voice and feeling comfortable with this but once you master this it becomes second nature and easy to do.

2. Move the voice into your throat area slowly and as you do this you will notice how the voice naturally changes.

3. Notice the differences in the voice and enjoy this process. You will find the words change from critical to more factual and softer/friendlier and you will begin to have a much clearer understanding of the event which triggered the critical voice in the first place. You will notice that your mind is quiet and peaceful as you now have the more appealing voice in your throat area.

4.  Check the referential index - Critical/judgmental voices will begin with "YOU". Now change the word to "I" for example "I feel, see, hear". Using the referential index of I puts your actions/wishes/wants/desires into context and much clearer direction is achieved. Whereas You is critical and judgmental to yourself.

5.  Remember to use the new pattern in the future to help keep your thinking positive and enjoy the freedom of self doubt, self criticism and a calmer mind.

Written by Julie Ann Williams

For further information about NLP Neuro-Linguistic Programming or Self Development and hypnotherapy please visit the website of the author Julie Ann WILLIAMS at http://www.impossibleactuality.com

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